COMPLETE RULES BELOW - PRIMARY FLUFFSPEAK (summarized; missing rules 11,12, 21+)
01: THE GOLDEN RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK
- Replace each and every r and l with a w.
- (And replace each and every R and L with a W.)
- This is the primary fluffy lisp, the minimum requirement for qualifying as Fluffspeak.
- THE GOLDEN COROLLARY OF FLUFFSPEAK
- Do NOT add any extra ws or Ws beyond those added for THE GOLDEN RULE.
- FWUFFY NAMES
- 90% of all fluffy names contain at least one r or l in its human pronunciation. It is hilarious and adorable when a fluffy can't even say its own name right.
02: THE PHYRITIC RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK
- Be consistent! Whichever speech rules you use in a universe (which can be as small as an isolated story), apply those rules for all Fluffspeak in that verse.
- THE PHYRITIC RULE can be broken by particular, established cases: regional dialects, a fluffy of unusual intelligence, a fluffy taught words by a human or a wise mentor, etc. If you do something like that, then the speech patterns of each group/individual need to be kept consistent unless something happens to change them. (After which, be consistent again until...)
03: THE SILVER RULE OF FLUFFSPEAK
- Your Fluffspeak needs to be fluidly comprehensible to the reader. (speech from drunk fluffies and the like excluded)
- If any words or sentences have been deformed beyond easy comprehension, lighten up on the deformations.
- ALWAYS reread your Fluffspeak, preferably both in your head and out loud (turn your voice up a few octaves for best results).
- This rule does NOT supersede THE GOLDEN RULE.
04: FLUFFIES DO NOT USE FIRST-PERSON SINGULAR PERSONAL PRONOUNS
- I, me
- A fluffy will never use I or me to refer to itself. If a fluffy has a name, title, or descriptor (Emewawd, smawty, mummah, etc) the fluffy can use that in their place. A fluffy can always use fwuffy to refer to itself.
- In some canons, a named fluffy will always use fwuffy when lying.
05: FLUFFIES & OTHER FIRST-PERSON PERSONAL PRONOUNS
- us, we; my, mine; our, ours
- It is greatly preferred that a fluffy not use the above words. Instead use a name, title, or descriptor: fwuffy's, smawty's, Jewew's, etc; fwuffies, hewd, famiwy, etc; fwuffies', hewd's, famiwy's, etc.
06: FLUFFIES & THIRD-PERSON SINGULAR PERSONAL PRONOUNS
- he, she, it; him, her; his, hers, its
- It is preferred that a fluffy not use the above words. Instead replace them with a name, title, or descriptor: fwuffy, Daddeh, nice wady, bwuddah, etc; fwuffy's, Daddeh's, nice wady's, bwuddah's, etc.
- The above words can be used if replacing them clutters up a sentence too much.
07: FLUFFIES & SECOND-PERSON PERSONAL PRONOUNS
- you; your
- Fluffies can use yu and yuw. They are just as likely to use a name, title, or descriptor, though.
- (I reason that the direct-address nature of you is simpler to grasp than third person pronouns [you always just means whomever the fluffy is talking to] and less abstract than first-person pronouns [a fluffy thinks of itself as a fluffy, not an 'I'].)
~ Dis am yuw beddie / Dis am yu beddie / Dis am Wavenda's beddie.
08: BEING VERBS
- is, am, are, etc; + will
- Fluffies frequently replace is or are with am.
~ We are sneaky. > Fwuffies am sneakie!
~ This baby is a great baby. > Dis babbeh am bestest babbeh.
- Fluffies sometimes completely leave out is, are, am, will, etc.
~ We are sneaky. > Fwuffies sneakie!
~ This baby is a great baby. > Dis babbeh bestest babbeh.
~ I, Rex, will be the best fluffy ever. > Wex be bestest fwuffy evah!
09: ARTICLES
- a, an, the
- Fluffies sometimes leave out articles.
~ But I am not a toy. > But fwuffy nu am toy...
10: NOT TO BE
- When a fluffy is saying that subject Y is not thing/quality X; it usually takes the form of Y nu [is/am/transitive verb] X.
~ This is not spaghetti. > Dis nu am sketties!
~ [This] foal smells bad. > Babbeh nu smeww pwetty.
~ I am not a mother anymore. > Fwuffy nu am mummah nu mowe! Huuhuuhuu!
13: FROM THERE TO DEWE
- th*
- For small, common words that begin with th, Fluffspeak can replace the th with a d (also Th with D).
- As with other letter replacements, it is important to not deform a word beyond recognition. Ex, turning their into deiw doesn't flow well.
~ the > da, de
~ this > dis
~ that > dat
~ they > dey
~ there > dewe
~ those > dose
~ these > dese
14: NUUUUUUUU!
- *o, others
- For small, common words that end in a long o or long u sound, that part of the word can be replaced with a u. This softens the word and makes it more suitable to the high-pitched voice of the fluffy or makes the word look more 'cutesy'.
~ to > tu
~ no > nu
~ so > su
~ go > gu
~ do > du
~ you > yu
~ new > nyu
~ know > knu, kno, no
15: EH
- *y, others
- If a word with two or more syllables ends with a long e sound, that part of the word can be replaced with eh.
~ kitty > kitteh
~ baby > babbeh
~ funny > funneh
~ runny > wunneh
~ daddy > daddeh
16: AH
- *er
- If a word with two or more syllables ends with er, the er can be replaced with ah.
~ litter > wittah
~ other > udah (Applies multiple deformations. Very fancy)
~ thriller > thwiwwah
~ bother > bothah
~ monster > munstah
17: IE
- Some words get an ie slapped on to the end because of cutesy.
- Some words with this actually get sie to make the sounds fit; useful for words that end in a vowel sound.
- Plurals are then made by placing an s on the end, even for nouns that are usually irregular.
~ toy > toysie; toysies
~ hoof > hoofie; hoofies
~ block > bwockie; bwockies
~ grass > gwassie; gwassies
~ sheep > sheepie; sheepies
18: COMBOS
~ Maybe fluffies don't naturally know what a car is. They do, however, know metaw (hard surface/material, can cause owwies) and munstah (scary, loud, mysterious). Combining the two gives them metaw-munstah, a mysterious and powerful entity that is the fearsome predator of the black-rockies places.
~ A cloud can be a sky-fwuffy.
~ A phone can be a tawkie-boxie.
~ A dumpster can be a nummies-boxie.
~ A forest can be a twee-pwace or a big-twee-pwace.
~ Acid might be meanie-buwnie-wawa, meanie-huwtie-wawa, huwtie-buwnie-wawa, or even meanie-huwtie-buwnie-wawa.
- The concepts these describe do not have to be completely unfamiliar concepts. Niche or particularly specific items work too.
~ A strike with a hoof is a sowwy-hoofie.
~ Feces inside the litter box are gud-poopies.
19: CONTRACTIONS
- SILVER RULE; use sparingly - Some very-common words can be reduced by a few letters to make them sound more cutesy. / or > o' / for > fo' / and > an' / -ing > -in' / away > 'way
20: SESQUIPEDALIANS
- You've got some options when it comes to fluffies speaking long words.
- Speak them normally with the usual fluffy lisp: Sesquipedowians
- Break them down into shorter bits and speak slowly: Ses-qui-ped-owi-ans
- Either of the above two, but horribly mangle it by the end: Sesquipedocious, Ses-qui-pe-doc-ious
- Have the fluffy stutter over it for a bit then switch to another word: Ses-qui-pef...quid-pee...biggest wowdsies!
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